Why Can't I Be Incredible?

How much would I have to weigh or how big would I have to get before I can say I'm trying to lose weight and people would be supportive and say "good for you" instead of "you don't need to lose weight"? Am I expected to get to clinically overweight, socially overweight, obese, or morbidly obese? I do know from personal experience that if you're simply approaching clinically overweight you can't expect any support from others. But why is that?
I'm all for loving yourself no matter what size, shape, or weight you are. But why should I have to settle? What if I'm not happy with sitting on the fence of overweigtness? (if I may be so bold as to make up a word here.) Why should I be fine with a weight that is still within "healthy" (albeit JUST barely) when my lifestyle isn't healthy and my diet isn't healthy - I've just been fortunate thus far with my metabolism and my genetics? I don't think I should wait until my metabolism is no longer in my favor to make a decision to change and actually get a little support.
Justin has always been amazing anytime I've decided to "lose weight" by telling me that he thinks I'm beautiful, but that he understands that it's about what I think - that it's important for me to be happy with my body. (BTW - Thanks, Baby, you are wonderful and I love you very much!)
My doctor told me I have an 80% chance of developing diabetes in my lifetime. Do I sit around and wait to see if I’m just lucky enough for that 20%? Do I wait until I’m pre-diabetic or diabetic to start taking control of my health? At what point is it acceptable for me to decide that I’m going to do everything I possibly can to avoid that 80%?
When I've told people I’m trying to lose weight, or I’m trying to make better food choices, or I’m going to the gym everyday they often say, “You don’t need to do that.” “You don’t need to lose weight.” “You can eat this.” “You’re ok.” “You look fine.” What is their purpose to saying those things? Are they just trying to be polite? Do they say that because they think I want to hear that? They certainly aren’t doing me any favors and they come off as very discouraging. Why don't they want me to be the best that I can possibly be? Why should I settle for ok? Why should I settle for fine? Why shouldn't I be amazing? Why can't I be incredible?

5 comments:

Smith Family said...

Why does it have to be about weight? Thats the problem I see with most issues--health is not all about weight. So...eat healthy, go to the gym and excercise because that is important (especially strength training for women as they get older), but make health not weight the issue. Because Diabetes is not always about weight--there are plenty of seemingly healthy people out there that do have diabetes (some professional atheles..). As long as you don't make it about being miss skinny minny--skinnier than all the others, blah, blah, blah; and make it about being healthy not a specific weight then thats all that should matter.

October 13, 2008 at 9:32 AM
Lyndee W. said...

I don't worry much about exercising {aside from my two or three dance classes a week} because I'm fairly content with my body. But, I do know where you're coming from...it's the same with infertility. Some people's good intentioned well-wishes just make you feel crappy. It all goes back to uncomfortable situations...sometimes, what bothers us makes others uncomfortable...and they have diahrea of the mouth trying to feel comfortable again.

October 13, 2008 at 11:05 AM
Melissa said...

I think some of it might be the following: If people see someone like you who they think look great and who they don't see as needing to lose weight and they have a bad perception of themselves in regards to weight it might make them feel even worse about themselves. They don't like the way they look and think you look great, but there you are telling them that you think you're fat so what does that make them?

Then again I could be completely wrong. When people hear that someone wants to loose weight they don't think about the health issue so much as the outward appearance, and besides I don't think most people really understand what clinically overwieght is. They hear overwieght and they imagine people you see on vidoes about obesity.

It's good that you want to be healthier, but don't get too upset when it seems that people aren't supporting you. It could be because they feel bad about themselves.

October 13, 2008 at 12:28 PM
mP said...

thanks, Melissa, i think you might be right. it's unfortunate that "i want to lose weight" automatically means "i think i'm fat", but I think you are right with regards to their own insecurities and issues

October 13, 2008 at 2:08 PM
Lyla said...

People who look good usually get that kind of reaction, especially since most of us are not willing to put in the time and effort and a lot of people assume that you just look good naturally without working at it. Unfortunately jealousy tends to play a part even though it is not always conscious, they may be thinking that they would be happy if they looked like that, or they may feel that if you think you look "bad" what must you think of them. I have friend with the same problem. She used to do some modeling and has consequently worked very hard to keep her self fit and thin and as she got older it became more difficult to keep her abs flat. When she would mention it to others their remarks were very hurtful so that she felt like she couldn't even be herself and had to censor what she said around them. of course living with Land I know how much work it takes and can appreciate it even if I don't have the will power to emulate it. Keep at it as long as it makes you feel good. Love and miss you, Lyla Lyn

October 18, 2008 at 2:26 PM

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