Garrett

08 06 08
I miss him so much. I think about him practically everyday. Some days I miss him more than others and today is one of those days. He would have just celebrated his 29th birthday a few weeks ago. I stayed at Jody's house when I went home for Pioneer Day. I stood in her family room on the morning of the 24th in front of the photo collages of Garrett and cried. He was so beautiful. I missed him a lot that day as well. Today, as I often do, I wondered what sort of relationship we'd have today if he was still alive. We didn't go through those years of growing apart as priorities changed and we got more involved in activities away from the fmaily. We didn't have to see our relationship change - or didn't get to. Who knows? We may have grown even closer as we got older instead of growing apart. Who would he have married? Would I have approved of her? (Probably not. I probably wouldn't think anyone was good enough for him.) What would he look like now? What would he do for a living? What would be his hobbies and interests? Would he have kids? How many? What would they look like? What would they be like? How would our entire family dynamic be different because he was still with us? How would each of us individually be different because he was still with us? And how would each of us be different because we never felt the pain and the loss of his death? Or because we don't have that constant desire and need to live better lives and ensure we are an eternal family and can be with him again someday? There can be no doubt that he has had a huge impact on my life in many ways. And continues to impact me everyday.