Unemployed

It just amazes me the lengths that I will go to and the things that I can find to do to avoid doing the unpleasant things that I really need to do. Even things that I don't necessarily want to do or typically enjoy doing. Take blog posting for example. Something that I often put off doing for days, weeks, even months at a time.

Here I am, unemployed for a month now (OMG ... I can't believe it's been a month now!), in desperate need of a job, combing through online want-ads, looking at job postings that aren't real jobs anyway, or are crap jobs, or part-time jobs, or offer no benefits, or pay minimum-wage, or I don't qualify for because I don't have a bachelor's degree, blah, blah, blah - to the point where I can't stand the thought of another moment of job-hunting! so I post on my blog instead.

ARGH! This economy sucks!

Riddle me this

So here's the thing ... how can a girl who hates running so much miss running so much?

I was struggling. Every second or third day I would get into this horrible mood. I wasn't sure what was wrong with me, why I felt so pissy. I was not PMSing. I was quite happy with my life, job, situation, etc. So what the hell was wrong with me? Turns out - there I was training for an upcoming half marathon - and I hated running. I was pissy every second or third day because every second or third day I had to run. A friend pointed it out to me. Then proceeded to tell me that maybe running wasn't my thing. EXCUSE ME?!?! I am about as stubborn as they get - and a bit rebellious. Challenge accepted! That was all I needed to get me going. I was going to run and I was going to like it! Running was going to be "my thing" even if it killed me, damnit!

But I continued to struggle. I continued to hate it. Much to my dismay.

The 13 mile bus ride up the canyon felt like it took forever! I just kept thinking, "This bus ride is only 13 miles. And it is so long. And this is how far I have to run. All the way back down this canyon." (Interesting to note that the night before the race as I was driving back to my hotel in Green River I saw a sign that read, "Green River 13 miles" and I thought at that time as well, "This is how far I have to run tomorrow". I thought I would NEVER reach Green River!)
I ran it. I actually enjoyed it until the pain set in. And I hurt terribly for the next few days.

I have now taken 2 weeks off to recover. Two weeks of no running. It should be bliss, right? I should be in heaven and happy and no more pissiness. But I'm pissy!

A few days ago I was driving to work and there were runners out on the road and I longed for that. I actually ached to be there with them. How can a girl who hates to run miss it so much?